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Therapist explains: THIS means the AVOIDANT is changing and OPENING UP to LOVE

Channel: Guided Awareness
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NUih2Lr0gY

The speaker, a therapist, lists four signs (a "part two/three") that an avoidant partner is healing toward secure attachment, drawn from her patients.

Key points

  • They take initiative, even small: suggesting a walk in the park, or asking how your day or work went. Avoidants typically stop doing these because it is effort, so resuming them signals trying.
  • They become less defensive about issues that used to trigger them. Example: a trip request that once drew "take it or leave it, this is not who I am" later gets a simple "yeah, sounds good."
  • They shift from "my way or the highway" to collaborative language, using "we" instead of "me." Example: an avoidant saying he is glad "we" are a fitness couple and proud of them as a couple, which she reads as subconscious commitment.
  • They express the value of human relationships more. Example: a patient praising a movie character who benefited from a loving, supportive wife, something she says he would not have admitted before.