They don't regret losing you at first, they feel relief¶

After a breakup, avoidants feel relief first and regret later -- and the timeline before they circle back depends on how deep the relationship was.

Key points¶

Initial relief phase: they convince themselves they made the right call (no more pressure, conflict, or emotional expectations).
Once the silence gets loud, regret creeps in; they then move through stabilization, distraction, and reflection phases.
The curiosity-and-return phase typically hits around three to eight months -- sooner for shallow talking-stage situations, later for deep long-term relationships.
When they do return it is usually not for reconciliation but to test whether the door is still open.
Be prepared with a boundary text ready before they reach out, so the decision is already made.