The Only Dating Advice You'll Ever Need!¶

Three dating archetypes (skater, sinker, sideliner) all lead to burnout; the antidote is "swimming" - dating at an organic, sustainable pace.

Key points¶

Skater: dates constantly and never slows down to connect or be vulnerable; avoidant, leaves no gaps, never gets hurt because they jump straight to the next person, so they never truly see anyone.
Sinker: anxiously attached, becomes obsessed with one person, morphs into what they think that person wants, and loses themselves and their own needs.
Sideliner: opts out entirely ("all men/women are like this," "dating is impossible") as a defense so they can never be rejected.
These are often the same person at different stages: skating, then finally sinking for one charismatic person, getting hurt, sidelining, then panicking back into skating - a burnout cycle.
Dating too fast rewards the best salesperson (most charisma), not the person who would make the best teammate.
Antidote is "swimming": an organic pace with a few days between dates, feeling your feelings and healing, evaluating slowly for real partner qualities, and connecting instead of impressing.
Be specific in how you present yourself (Ali Abdaal dating-profile example): a detail that repels the wrong people and attracts the right ones beats a generic profile.