Let's dive into the real fear behind this mask¶

An avoidant's real fear is not commitment but exposure -- being fully known means their wounds become visible and rejection becomes possible.

Key points¶

When dating, avoidants can control what you see; commitment means you get past the walls to the hurt underneath.
If you can see the hurt, you might reject them -- so they pull back before (or just after) that point is reached.
Pulling away is not about not loving you; it is that love without a mask feels like "standing naked in a storm."
For an avoidant, being that vulnerable is more terrifying than being alone -- their core fear is exposure, not commitment.