Staying in no contact and waiting for them to make the first move might be your best bet, honestly,¶
Channel: Mack Herman
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uZsmbUrzS4
When an avoidant pulls back, reaching out for relief will only reset the pain cycle -- staying in no contact and letting silence gather data is the more strategic move.
Key points¶
- The urge to text, send a letter, or check in is really a search for internal regulation, not genuine resolution.
- Reaching out calms the nervous system for about five minutes, then leaves you overanalyzing tone and rereading messages.
- No contact is not a game or manipulation; sitting with the discomfort can pay out much bigger than breaking it.
- If they are capable of repair, they will initiate; if they choose silence, that silence is data -- stop interrupting it.