Avoidants don't move on fast, they shut down fast #fearfulavoidantattachment #dismissiveavoidant

Channel: Mack Herman
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TJEilx9GEw

Avoidants do not move on quickly after a breakup -- they suppress and delay, so what looks like "fine" is just their nervous system in self-protection mode.

Key points

• After a breakup the avoidant detaches, rationalizes, and minimizes in real time; the emotional processing is postponed, not skipped.
• From the outside this looks like indifference -- posting, going out, maybe dating -- while the anxious partner is visibly falling apart.
• Eventually distractions fade and silence gets louder; the grief hits as curiosity, regret, and late-night story-views rather than a dramatic apology.
• Avoidants equate love with threat and exposure, so going "offline" emotionally when things intensify does not mean the connection was imaginary.
• Do not wait for their emotional delay to resolve; if they return it should be because they did the work, not because the numbness wore off.