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Women Gatekeep Sex--But Men Gatekeep Relationships | CRP

Channel: CRP Archive
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cGZ2jhGFpM

The speaker argues that because women's overriding drive is relationships (not sex), men are the gatekeepers of relationships and hold the real power, provided a man believes he can always find someone better.

Key points

  • Women gatekeep sex because men have the higher sex drive; men gatekeep relationships because women's overriding evolutionary drive is to form and secure relationships.
  • Evolutionary framing: human babies are born "embryonic" and helpless for about a year, so a mother needs a mate's help, making relationships a woman's central concern. This is why women obsess over and gossip about relationships while men talk about sex.
  • "When there is a motivated buyer, the seller is in control." Men are motivated buyers of sex (women control it); women are motivated buyers of relationships (men control it).
  • A man's "nuclear weapon" is his willingness to leave. If he truly believes he can find someone better, he holds the upper hand and the woman senses it and treats him well.
  • He claims society (a "matriarchy") works to convince men they cannot do better, citing the Hugh Jackman example (says Jackman could "do better" than his wife).
  • Personal anecdote: at 42 in 2010 he thought a hot 19-year-old was the best he would ever have; the next year he met and married someone better. "There is always somebody better."
  • Men, he claims, want only three basics: regular sex, domestic comfort/companionship, and children; women paradoxically respond better to the slight instability of possibly losing their mate.

Reception

  • Largely positive and grateful, dominated by RIP tributes; several said the reposted archive helps them figure out their lives.
  • The Hugh Jackman line was a repeated favorite, with viewers agreeing his wife was a mismatch.
  • Notable pushback questioned the premise: only desirable men can gatekeep relationships (a broke or undesirable man cannot), and one long comment argued the SMV data does not support men gatekeeping relationships.
  • A few framed it pessimistically as a "sad state for men but true," and one pushed the MGTOW/leave-Western-women conclusion.