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NEVER Give WOMEN Your Approval or Validation - Hypergamy Makes Her PULL AWAY

Channel: Casey Zander
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdqqbiMweWg

The speaker argues a woman never loves a man "for himself" but only chases his approval, so any validation a man gives lowers her desire over time. The fix offered: withhold approval, minimize contact, and let her invest and chase.

Key points

  • Core claim: a man's love grows in time spent together; a woman's love grows in time apart. So spending lots of quality time with a woman supposedly decreases her desire, warmth, and sexual interest.
  • Women are framed as hypergamous: giving approval signals "you are good enough," which makes her seek a higher-value mate. Women are said to "only want men who make her feel he is better than her."

  • "Status" is reframed as a feeling, not money or fame -- a man earning 35k or working at 7-Eleven can hold a woman's interest if he has "game" and never gives full approval. Celebrity examples (Leonardo DiCaprio, Dr. Dre, Steph Curry) are cited as proof that wealth and status do not exempt a man.

  • Three channels of "approval" to cut back

  • Direct communication: compliments (especially looks compliments), upbeat or eager vocal tone, and giving undivided real-time attention are all said to lower attraction.
  • Sub-communication: initiating touch, needing intimacy, "googly eyes," and lengthy attentive replies register as neediness.

  • Phone/virtual: check-in texts ("what's for lunch," "miss you"), phone calls about your day, emojis, exclamation marks, and fast replies are all framed as emasculating and desire-killing.

  • "All women lose sexual desire when they have your approval" -- presented as universal regardless of her background or his looks/wealth.

  • Advice to give attention and approval only in small doses as a reward for her behavior, and to be comfortable waiting days, weeks, or months to reply, since female attachment supposedly grows during time apart (anecdotes of women calling back after 12-18 months or years).

Reception

  • Strong agreement from the core audience, with many older men ("58, happily married"; "39 before I took the red pill") saying it matches their experience.
  • Several commenters share personal accounts of over-investing, getting an "I need space" text, then having the woman return once they pulled back.
  • A recurring reaction is fatigue or resignation -- multiple top comments say the advice makes them want to stay single ("reminds me why I should stay single," "sick of the games").
  • Some pushback and refinement: one commenter argues for withholding only unconditional approval (carrots and sticks, not all sticks); another recommends comparing other coaches and cites Corey Wayne's "3% Man."
  • A few object on principle that having to use this many tactics to attract "a human being just like the rest of us" feels absurd.