4 boundary examples for what you can hold with an avoidant

Channel: Mack Herman
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ap3LHs3FN1s

Effective boundaries with an avoidant are calm, clear, and self-protective -- not controlling -- and communicate your standards while leaving room for their effort.

Key points

• Communication: don't accept breadcrumbs or chase disappearances; "I'm okay with space, but disappearing without a word doesn't work for me."
• Emotional needs: don't silence your feelings to keep the peace; ask for the conversation to happen when you raise something.
• Self-respect: don't tolerate being treated as an option; require consistent presence in return for your own.
• Space and closeness: respect their need for independence while also naming that closeness matters to you and you will ask for it without guilt.
• You are looking for effort in response; healthy relationships require boundaries, unhealthy ones don't.