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Did your avoidant burn it down when they left? How did that affect you

Channel: Mack Herman
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5PzCGGYrzM

Some avoidants don't ghost on the way out - they provoke, blame, and burn the relationship down because chaos creates the distance their shame requires.

Key points

  • Avoidants sometimes leave explosively rather than quietly, provoking conflict and twisting the narrative to avoid feeling guilt.
  • The cruelty on the way out is not about hating you; it is about hating feeling vulnerable around you.
  • Creating chaos serves as a distance mechanism: the worse they act, the safer they feel.
  • Their destructive exit reflects their own shame, not your worth.