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CRP - Why Flattering Women Fails

Channel: CRP Archive
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3Q4VERfpcA

The speaker argues that flattering women is both ineffective for attraction and harmful because it distorts a person's grasp of reality; he advises not flattering women but also not being gratuitously harsh.

Key points

  • Flattery is "dangerous" because it gives its target a false picture of reality, the opposite of what a true friend does by telling hard truths.
  • People instinctively distrust flatterers; the speaker says he feels this himself after the second compliment.
  • Claims "low value" (described as stupid) women lap up flattery, while "high quality" women -- meaning sharp/on-the-ball, not high-IQ -- recognize it as a lie.
  • Anecdote: NY fashion models he met in the late 90s were realistic about their looks because their careers depended on it, so they dismissed flatterers; men who ignored their looks succeeded, flatterers failed.
  • Extends to a cultural argument that society's "flattery" of women (e.g. "you go girl," "healthy at any weight") detaches them from reality, including overestimating physical capability versus men.
  • Practical advice: do not flatter, but do not volunteer brutal honesty either (called a passive-aggressive incel move); answer truthfully only if asked, and treat women with mild condescension as you would a "nerdy guy."

Reception

  • Comments are largely positive and include many memorial messages ("RIP Gonzalo Lira").
  • A top comment qualifies the thesis: women like compliments from men they are attracted to but find them creepy from men they are not.
  • Several recount personal value/self-improvement takeaways and credit the channel as influential.
  • Some pushback: that the advice mainly works for "chads"/high-status men, not the average guy, and that the word "creepy" is propaganda against ordinary men.
  • The "real porkers"/"land whales" lines drew amused approval from multiple commenters.