Here's how to flip the script and get an avoidant to chase you without games or manipulation¶

Avoidants only begin to chase when you stop chasing them -- not because they have changed, but because they suddenly feel the loss of control.

Key points¶

While you were consistently present, avoidants felt safe avoiding; the moment you stop, they feel the void and start refreshing the chat.
It is not a sign of healing or readiness -- it is anxiety triggered by losing their sense of control over the dynamic.
Avoidants do not grieve until the relationship feels truly gone; that is when the roles can reverse and they turn anxious.
Mack Herman notes she has personally experienced this pattern as a healing dismissive avoidant and has been on both sides of it.