Skip to content

this means you are SPECIAL to an AVOIDANT

Channel: Guided Awareness
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Evtt4z6WUv8

A therapist's list of signs that an avoidant partner considers you special. The speaker stresses avoidants take a long time to open up, so missing signs does not mean it will never happen.

Key points

  • The speaker says avoidants rarely let anyone in, so a long-term relationship with one is itself a strong signal; if it has outlasted their past relationships or marriage, length signals value more than it does for other attachment styles.
  • They are honest with you even when the truth disappoints you (e.g. admitting they feel suffocated), rather than lying to keep the peace as avoidants often do with insecurely attached partners.
  • They make life adjustments for you: seeing you more frequently, or sharing details of their day despite finding it burdensome and disliking dwelling on feelings (poor distress tolerance, they prefer distraction over confrontation).
  • They directly say they do not like disappointing or seeing you sad; the speaker calls this rare vulnerability plus willingness to change.
  • They incorporate your habits (e.g. your early-morning gym routine) over time; learning from you is a low-risk form of connection avoidants value.
  • They share financial details (stocks, brokerage moves). The speaker claims avoidants guard autonomy via financial freedom, often choosing flexible/autonomous work (contractor, chef, portfolio manager, PRN) over secure 9-to-5 jobs with benefits, and fear being taken advantage of, so sharing finances signals trust.
  • They volunteer unprompted childhood or life details (grandmother's pancakes, breaking an arm), especially years in, not as early-relationship front-putting.
  • They communicate more consistently with shrinking gaps, and see you regularly without cancelling or excuses; avoidants only invest in what they value.