Borgerding the avoidant rebound cycle is painful to watch, and much easier to understand than it is¶

When avoidants enter a rebound relationship they are not healing -- they are escaping the vulnerability the previous relationship demanded.

Key points¶

Avoidants don't process a breakup; they pause by replacing. A new partner who does not yet see their flaws feels safer.
They leave not because they are ready for someone new but because the previous relationship required a level of intimacy they could not handle.
The rebound high fades when newness wears off, and the avoidant begins to remember the depth and safety they left behind.
They return when their distractions stop working -- not because they have healed, but because their avoidance strategies ran out.
Have a boundary text ready for when they come back.