They're not ignoring you to be cruel, they're avoiding what they feel¶

While you are fighting the urge to text your avoidant ex, they are fighting the urge to feel -- different battles driven by the same silence.

Key points¶

Avoidants do not sit longing to reach out; they actively resist feeling guilt, shame, or loss that your silence stirs up.
Your silence makes them uncomfortable, but your presence terrifies them more because connection means exposure and exposure means pain.
They manage discomfort by constructing a story ("I'm fine, I moved on") to numb what is really inside.
The impulse to reach out will likely bring more hurt; acknowledge the feeling without acting on it.