post 3 months is where the real shift begins for avoidants #theyalwayscomeback #dismissiveavoidant

Channel: Mack Herman
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCoQbfVdd28

After three months of no contact, an avoidant's mindset shifts from "I need space" to genuine reflection and uncertainty about whether losing you was the right call.

Key points

• The first 90 days are relief, distraction, and numbing; past three months, their nervous system calms and feelings start to resurface -- not always enough to act, but enough to think.
• The protective story they told themselves to justify the distance begins to weaken; comparison and curiosity grow.
• Real internal shift: they stop numbing and must sit with the fallout -- the mess they potentially made.
• Dismissive avoidants typically take 3-8 months to reach out; fearful avoidants are faster, though the contact is often a breadcrumb or apology rather than a genuine bid.