your AVOIDANT ex MISSES you

Channel: Guided Awareness
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3s-dkyep1U

The speaker, a therapist who works mainly with avoidant clients, lists signs that an avoidant ex still has feelings, drawn from cases rather than social-media behavior.

Key points

• They talk about you to others, sometimes badmouthing (denial, hurt, embarrassment at having lost you), sometimes reminiscing while staying detached. Avoidants rarely share feelings, so anything surfacing means it is overwhelming.
• They stay friends with you right after the breakup. The speaker calls this the avoidant "go-to" way to stay close to a missed ex; not healthy, and not true of all avoidants.
• They engage in out-of-character behavior: jumping into a relationship, changing their hair, acting more aggressive, using emotional numbing tactics. Temporary, not permanent.
• They make drastic changes: moving to another town or a second property, selling their house, quitting their job to get undisturbed time to process. Examples from the speaker's practice.
• They pick up maladaptive habits like drinking or smoking. The speaker urges avoidants who messed up to just admit it, claiming it is actually easier to win a partner back when you are the one who erred and show you changed.
• They reduce socialization, withdrawing and skipping events or networking trips to avoid being seen as emotionally imbalanced.
• They find ways to reach out (sending videos, pictures); the speaker frames an increasing frequency as a cue to consider a reconnect conversation.
• They directly tell you they miss you, which the speaker says happens when feelings become too overwhelming to suppress.