yes, AVOIDANTS do friendzone someone they LOVE

Channel: Guided Awareness
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkFdiK7ly0k

The speaker, a therapist, claims avoidants (especially dismissive, or fearful leaning dismissive) friend-zone people they actually have feelings for as a self-protection strategy, and offers reasons plus suggested responses for each. Applies to friend-zoning before a relationship or offering "friendship" after a breakup.

Key points

• Afraid to disappoint you. Romantic partners carry far more expectations than friends (daily contact, intimacy, priority); friendship gives fewer chances to let you down, so they keep you there. Counter: tell them directly you see more, and that you won't be mad or expect too much if they can't always show up.
• You can't reject them. If it was never framed as romantic, you can't betray their trust or reject them (e.g. declining intimacy). Avoidants take rejection personally (more so male avoidants) and perceive things self-centeredly from their deactivation. Counter: if they seem hurt by perceived rejection, apologize and reassure them they won't lose you.
• "My way or the highway." More common in dismissive (and male) avoidants; they are rigid and want to call all the shots, on their pace and terms. In the friend zone you can't ask things of them. Counter: introduce compromise in micro ways (e.g. suggest an alternate day) to get them comfortable with the possibility over time.
• Self-doubt. They fear they will fail the relationship or that you'll stop liking them once it turns romantic. Counter: build trust, avoid criticism, voice specific appreciation without fawning or pressure.
• Protecting the bond. Staying friends lowers the chance of breaking up and "losing" you forever; they'd rather keep you in their life non-romantically than risk a breakup removing you. Claimed to be more common in female avoidants (said to fear losing a partner more, while male avoidants are more sensitive to disrespect).