You didn't ask for too much, you asked for consistency¶

Avoidants don't leave because you were needy; they leave because consistency removes their escape routes and makes their avoidance visible.

Key points¶

Consistency forces presence: no disappearing, no checking out, no staying vague -- all the shields they hide behind stop working.
Accountability triggers their nervous system shutdown, which reads to both parties as "losing feelings," but it is actually a fear response to responsibility registered as danger.
Avoidants love the honeymoon phase; when butterflies fade and the relationship gets real, they shut down because they have never learned to stay.
Once their avoidance is visible they face a choice: grow through it or leave -- you asking for stability was not pressure, even though they read it that way.