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And examples of each of the 3 ways they come back

Channel: Mack Herman
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwY62oKrPJM

Avoidants do come back, but they return in one of three distinct ways -- and mistaking a breadcrumb for a genuine bid for reconnection keeps you stuck in the same cycle.

Key points

  • Breadcrumb: a casual low-effort contact (a "hey," a story like, a meme) with no intention -- just testing whether you are still available and safe.
  • Apology: comes later when guilt and reflection creep in; may be surface-level or sound remorseful, but an apology does not equal readiness or change.
  • Genuine bid for connection: the rarest form -- they acknowledge what they did, ask for face time, and pose a question that requires a yes or no answer; this signals they want to build something real, not repeat old patterns.