Avoidants are overwhelmed, and what sounds like mixed signals to you, is usually a sign of their

Channel: Mack Herman
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAt1uIQ3Olc

Five things avoidants commonly say, translated: what sounds like mixed signals is almost always a flooded nervous system expressing itself through self-protection, not indifference.

Key points

• "I just need space" = nervous system flooded; space is their regulation strategy, not a breakup statement.
• "I don't know what I want" = pressure to decide is overwhelming; their indecision is fear, not a lack of feelings.
• "You deserve better" = shame disguised as selflessness; they feel inadequate and fear disappointing you more than they fear leaving.
• "I'm not ready for a relationship" = they may want you but associate commitment with pressure and expectation that feels like control over them.
• "I'm just really busy" = emotional avoidance, not a packed calendar; they are prioritizing distance over emotional availability.