And when it finally hits them, it's a wild ride

Channel: Mack Herman
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNl0A-PuhVw

Avoidants appear to move on quickly after a breakup not because they are over it, but because they suppress and compartmentalize rather than process -- the grief hits them much later, often after you have already healed.

Key points

• After a discard, the avoidant's nervous system enters relief mode: no more pressure, no more emotional demands.
• Going numb feels like strength to someone who never learned to regulate emotions, so they look like they are thriving.
• They are not moving on -- they are disconnecting; actual processing comes months later.
• When the numbness finally wears off and reality hits them, you will likely already have moved on.