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Why Women Really Don't Want Men to be Nice to Them

Channel: Chris Canwell
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ti9DnfAOO-0

The speaker's core claim: female desire is an "evolutionary glitch", women should be attracted to kind, romantic men but are not, because the female brain has not caught up with modern civilization.

Key points

  • Men often ask why they must be indifferent, careless, even borderline rude rather than romantic, which is what they want to be. The speaker calls this a good question that exposes a flaw in the dynamic.
  • He frames it as an "evolutionary glitch": women should be turned on by sweet, caring, romantic men, but the results show they are not.
  • Explanation: life was brutally hard throughout history (hunting, fighting, killing, mate protection); the brain evolved for that world and has not caught up with how civilized, safe, and law-governed life has become.
  • So the "glitch" persists: female desire is not triggered by men being too nice or too focused on her.
  • Anecdote: a woman told a man at dinner "you're a really nice guy but I don't think you could confront anybody or have an argument, you're just too nice"; he was hurt that his niceness counted against him.
  • Claim: women often misinterpret kindness as weakness, which the speaker says are very different things.

Reception

  • High engagement and largely agreement, though the most-liked comment pushes back: a viewer says he will stay nice and kind regardless because that is how he was raised and will not change for anyone.
  • A recurring refinement is that the real problem is being a pushover, not being kind; many argue you should be kind but not at the expense of masculinity, with a strong sense of agency and an "internal locus of control" being the actual attraction trigger.
  • Several distinguished good women from broken or emotionally immature ones, claiming well-adjusted women do not reject genuine nice guys and that a woman who does is a red flag.
  • Some embraced the "glitch" framing and the takeaway "be nice and kind, just not to women," while others blamed social media validation and too many options for devaluing men.
  • A simpler counter-thread urged just being authentic: be nice to nice people, set boundaries with rude ones, and do not lose yourself for an unsuitable partner.