THIS means you are VERY SPECIAL to AVOIDANT¶

The speaker, a therapist, lists behaviors she says avoidant partners show once they have privately decided they will never leave you.

Key points¶

Lifestyle changes that mirror yours (waking earlier, counting steps, cleaning when you do) - they feel more connected and you have become an influence on their life.
Less threatened by future plans: a vacation idea that triggered a hard "no" at year one gets "I'm open to it" by year three. Claims that from a dismissive avoidant, "I'm open to it" leans toward yes and is literal, not a brush-off.
They invest in making you happy, sometimes indirectly. Example: after years of reassuring them you accept they "never want to get married," they start arguing "I never said never" - she frames this as a sign they are quietly working on it; encourage it while still cushioning ("I'll be happy either way").
They use "we" for future plans ("we can do that for Thanksgiving") to signal they are committing and not going to leave.
They introduce you to their family. Usually a strong sign later in a relationship; early introductions can mean something else and depend on age (younger or less self-aware avoidants may do it sooner, e.g. still living at home).
They tell you they don't plan on going anywhere. Can come even in the first weeks with older, self-aware avoidants who are picky and know what they want; believe them.
They put effort into talking through problems, which avoidants dislike - even a little is a sign of commitment and an opening to practice compromise.