Heartbreak takes longer to hit the avoidant #dismissiveavoidant #mystory #attachmentissues

Channel: Mack Herman
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwVtIyeABYQ

Speaking as an avoidant, Mack describes how she appeared fine after ending a relationship while actually deactivating -- the grief hit later, all at once, when numbing stopped working.

Key points

• After the breakup she cried once, then her nervous system shut the pain down; she compartmentalized, intellectualized, and convinced herself it was the right call.
• To everyone outside she looked healed; internally she was deactivating, not processing.
• Avoidant emotions spike then crash; to keep functioning she numbed, and numbing felt like clarity -- until it didn't.
• When something triggered the memory, it all came back at once -- that is typically when an avoidant reaches out.