Skip to content

How to Go From Her Liking You to Having Sex With You

Channel: Dan Bacon
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-RPz0JHC2Q

The speaker claims a man must take the lead in escalating attraction to sex and a relationship, because women almost always prefer to go without than take on the "traditional male" pursuing role; the process is simply attract her, then "shoot your shot."

Key points

  • Claims a woman will usually go without a man she likes rather than be the one who pursues, asks for a number, or initiates a kiss.
  • Asserts biological reasons: women have a smaller brain area for sexual pursuit and far less testosterone (testosterone therapy is said to raise female sex drive but masculinize them); an ovulation testosterone bump is countered by progesterone.
  • Claims women avoid pursuing because most men will have sex with any attractive woman who says yes regardless of liking her, so pursuing attracts men who do not actually like them.
  • Says women seek "emotional toughness" in men; a passive man hoping things are handed to him is unattractive, whereas a shy or insecure woman is still desirable if pretty.

Mistakes men make

  • Waiting for her to make it obvious she wants to escalate. Women behave inconsistently: some are openly keen, some stay cool/disinterested to test his confidence, some playfully push him away or claim they only see him as a friend.
  • Frames a woman not being reassuring as an opportunity to build confidence that also earns respect at work, with friends, and family, making a man a "leader."
  • Waiting for her to text first (mocked via the "waiting for you to text first" princess-dress meme); sending another text after no reply is said not to be needy, a man just goes after what he wants.
  • Thinking he must share his feelings first; claims he does not need to.

The claimed process

  • Display attractive traits (confidence, flirting, humor, social intelligence, "emotional masculinity") to create attraction, then if she is interested, escalate (touch, kiss, suggest moving to a sofa, a walk, or back to his place).
  • Says men overcomplicate this by imagining many extra steps before they are "worthy" to make a move, and get stuck; confident men just act and get results.

Reception

  • Sentiment is strongly positive and often reverent, with top comments calling the speaker the best on this topic and crediting him with "saving mankind one video at a time."
  • A recurring thread distinguishes pursuing from harassment; the speaker's reply framed it as not a fine line, pursuing means following through with a woman who is attracted, harassment is continuing after a clear no.
  • Several commenters shared their own handling of the "let's just be friends" test, with one joking comeback drawing a caution from the speaker not to take the humor too far.
  • Some commenters asked the speaker to make reaction videos critiquing other coaches; he declined, saying he prefers focusing on getting men results rather than putting others down.
  • A few voiced personal struggles (severe approach anxiety, lost confidence) and asked for help getting started.