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THIS means AVOIDANT feels AUTHENTIC LOVE for YOU

Channel: Guided Awareness
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWszOqbSmtY

The speaker, a therapist, lists behaviors she says show an avoidant partner feels authentic love, drawn from older long-term couples she sees in session who say "I would be fine alone, but I am happier and thriving with you."

Key points

  • They listen thoroughly and without judgment, even to painful disclosures unrelated to them.
  • They prefer doing day-to-day tasks (e.g. grocery shopping) alongside you; your presence is calming once they trust you.
  • They sleep more soundly next to you (noted as more common with fearful-avoidants); you feel like their safety and peace.
  • They become open in formerly private situations once comfortable: using the bathroom with the door open, getting ready or changing in front of you.
  • They support you in tangible, physical ways: fixing your resume, critiquing a presentation; offering stability the way you give it to them.
  • They support you emotionally to make you feel safe: rubbing your stomach during menstrual cramps until you sleep, massaging feet/temples, taking a full week off work after your surgery.
  • They appreciate and even start adopting your unique traits (a stutter, unusual food preferences).