How to Pick a Wife | CRP¶

Using a college relationship as a case study, the speaker argues that shared life goals matter far more than compatibility when choosing a wife.

Key points¶

Tells the story of "B," a college girlfriend: brilliant (later earned a PhD from a top-three university), charming, witty, magnetic in person despite being "a seven" on looks. They were deeply compatible -- same books, movies, music, finishing each other's sentences.
Despite that compatibility, they broke up because they wanted different things from life: she wanted a corporate/academic career and tenure, no children, to stay in the US; he wanted to try Hollywood, have children, and eventually leave the US.
Anecdote: he blew off a second-round investment-bank interview that could have made him "a millionaire by 30," which she could not understand; he says working at the bank would have left him miserable even if rich.
Central thesis: do not pick a partner the way you pick a car (by qualities/compatibility). Pick someone who shares your same life goals, even if they see the world a bit differently.
A partner too similar to you will share your weaknesses and create rivalry -- he and B competed academically while writing their theses. You want someone who complements you and fills your gaps.
Once shared life goals exist, everything else can be fixed and falls into place; without them, no amount of love or liking each other will save the relationship.
He admits the breakup devastated him and he never met anyone he got along with as well since, but maintains marrying her would have made them both miserable.

Broad agreement; many distilled the lesson as "pick a woman who complements your life rather than competes with it," and "find the person who wants what you want."
Several commenters offered their own parallel stories of ending compatible relationships over mismatched core values, often religion.
A common cynical reframe: "men want love, women want money," with claims that women already choose partners this practical way.
A vocal MGTOW-style contingent argued against marriage entirely ("no wife, no kids, not worth it").
One thoughtful dissent argued the couple were never truly compatible to begin with, redefining compatibility to include shared goals.
Numerous memorial comments noting the creator had since died.