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your AVOIDANT ex REGRETS leaving YOU

Channel: Guided Awareness
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFeiqX17lnc

The speaker claims avoidant exes often leave because they were triggered, not because they decided they were unhappy, so once the trigger fades they frequently regret it but signal that indirectly to avoid being vulnerable.

Key points

  • Some avoidants reach out directly to reconcile; many do not because directness feels too vulnerable, so they show regret through indirect behaviors instead.
  • Keep tabs on your social media (re-following, unblocking, watching) which the speaker calls a form of denial.
  • Try to get attention passively: playing a shared "song that signifies something" on their story; posting that they are now going to therapy (which the ex had wanted) to gauge a reaction; or posting something negative aimed at the ex (e.g. "girls who wear glasses are a menace") to bait a "crash out" so the ex reaches out first.
  • Hyperfocus on distractions (more time with friends, extra work hours, a second job) to avoid the emotional pain and the regret; said to be more common in dismissive avoidants and to prolong getting over the ex.
  • Jump quickly into a new relationship to prove they are happy; sometimes contact the ex years later even while partnered, or use the new partner just to get over the ex.
  • Ask about or talk about you to others, sometimes negatively, as a way to process feelings without directly admitting they miss you.
  • Reach out without stating what they want (a "hey," "how are you," liking an old photo) to connect while dodging responsibility.
  • Directly say they miss you and want to try again; the speaker advises reconciliation can work but both partners must address the original issues individually and together, and decide which issues are actually worth breaking up over to avoid a repeat cycle.