When you stop chasing the avoidant and let them come to you everything shifts

Channel: Mack Herman
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gf7xaijiyU0

Going no contact after a breakup or when an avoidant requests space is the most reliable way to trigger them to reach out, because silence creates the worry that you have moved on.

Key points

• Staying silent lets the avoidant's nervous system regulate; once regulated they begin to process, feel concerned, and you become the "phantom ex" they pursue.
• Do not break no contact once you are in it -- the strategy only works if you hold it.
• Exception: if you share children, use low contact rather than full no contact.