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This Makes a Woman Feel Safe Around You and Want You Sexually

Channel: Dan Bacon
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyKLHI0Reik

The speaker claims the trait that makes a woman feel safe and sexually attracted is emotional steadiness (staying calm and in control of your emotions under pressure), and it has nothing to do with a man's physical size.

Key points

  • Emotional steadiness means staying in control of your emotions regardless of what is happening around you; women look for it on first meeting and keep checking for it.
  • Example: a woman starts using her phone while with you. An insecure man wonders if he is boring and tries harder to win her attention; a confident man is unshaken because he assumes he is the one she should focus on, which often makes her self-correct, apologize, and re-engage.
  • If a man gets visibly nervous, annoyed, or insulted that she is distracted, she concludes he can only "be the man" when everything goes his way, and loses trust and interest.
  • The point is not to act robotic; he can laugh, joke, and show emotion, he just does not overreact or crumble under pressure.
  • Example: when she disagrees with him, an insecure man gets flustered, overly serious, or worried it will cost him his chance; a confident man keeps his cool and treats it as conversation, not a battle to win.
  • Steadiness cannot be faked; a woman only has to add a little pressure and watch whether he cracks.
  • Claim: an attractive woman wants a man more confident than her, while an unattractive woman prefers a man less confident than her.
  • Claim: women go through a monthly hormonal cycle causing mood swings, anxiety, and irritability (said to be unlike men's steady hormones), so they need a man who stays steady through it.
  • An insecure man in a relationship sees her as more valuable than himself and becomes jealous, clingy, and overprotective, which becomes stressful and makes her unable to respect him.

Reception

  • Positive and agreeing, with commenters calling emotional steadiness a vital masculine trait that helps in social and professional life, not just dating.
  • The top comment recounts a first date where the woman's car battery died; staying calm and rolling with it turned a near-cancellation into a kiss over ice cream.
  • Recurring sub-thread on the phone example: commenters discuss how to carry yourself when a woman is on her phone, with one joking phones should be banned on dates.
  • Several note the overlap with stoic principles and frame emotional and mental strength as attractive, weakness as a turn-off.
  • A lighter recurring exchange involves a commenter who still uses an antique Nokia and the reactions women have to it.
  • One asks whether you can pursue career and a girlfriend at once, prompting the reply that a woman should be an addition to your life, not your whole focus.