And a bonus option for if you want to engage¶

Three ways to respond when an ex reaches out with what feels like a genuine bid for connection, ranging from open curiosity to a firm closed door.

Key points¶

Head in with curiosity: ask directly "What are you hoping to get out of this conversation?" -- if they are genuinely soft and vulnerable, they will have an answer.
Go in honest but guarded: "I don't know if I'm ready for a conversation yet" -- a genuinely motivated person will respect that and press in thoughtfully.
The closed door: "I've had time to think and reopening this isn't something I'm open to right now; I wish you the best" -- clear, kind, final.
A fourth option is to engage with open hands and no expectations just to see where they really are.