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This Makes Women Instantly Feel Attracted and Like You as a Person

Channel: Dan Bacon
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxivHJKVbQo

The speaker claims women feel instant attraction to a man who can love and accept them for who they are in the moment, without needing them to change their mood or behavior to make him feel good about himself.

Key points

  • Most people (men and women) cannot do this, which is why it is so attractive when a man can.
  • A woman is not always going to be warm, friendly, and welcoming. She may be introverted, shy, anxious, in a bad mood, or have her guard up.
  • The common mistake: a man needs the woman to be someone she is not in that moment so he can feel good about himself. He goes into his shell or feels awkward when she is closed up, which makes the interaction awkward and distant.
  • The fix: love and accept her for who she is in the moment, without judgment, and do not depend on her behavior to feel good about yourself.
  • This signals an emotionally independent, confident man who can feel good regardless of how she acts. The irony, per the speaker, is that this makes her relax, drop the act, and become warmer, more open, and more attracted.
  • Example: a female barista who is shy or moody. Do you shrink and feel insecure, or stay relaxed and easygoing and accept her as she is?
  • Everyone has a backstory you do not know (broken home, a father who spoiled or ignored her, a critical mother, an ex who cheated, a bad day, insecurity around other attractive women). Keep this in mind rather than needing her to perform for you.
  • The speaker calls this one part of "reciprocal candor": talking easily and naturally and feeling safe to be yourself. He claims studies show it increases romantic chemistry and attraction (no specific study cited).
  • A woman also does not want to sense she has rattled or thrown the man off by her personality (feisty, bubbly, outgoing). Letting her express her full range of personality without it negatively affecting you makes her feel attracted.
  • Acceptance does not mean tolerating rudeness or disrespect. A confident man still accepts her as a flawed human but his interest can ebb and flow with her behavior, and he may decide not to pursue her. That dynamic makes her want to impress him while still feeling free to be herself.
  • You do not have to do this perfectly. Even doing it 20 percent as well as someone skilled at it will make women more attracted and like you more.

Reception

  • Strongly positive; commenters praise the depth and call it mature, insightful advice, with the top comment summarizing it as "never overthink, always work on yourself."
  • Several share personal applications: handling a quiet long-distance girlfriend, practicing acceptance with random strangers as a warm-up to approaching women, and dealing with shy baristas.
  • A side thread on smiling draws engagement, with the consensus that a man should smile as naturally as he wants and stop treating women as holders of all the power.
  • One commenter raises jealous female friends sabotaging good relationships as the "next great hurdle," prompting the speaker to advise distancing from meddling friends.
  • Requests for a follow-up appear, notably one asking how to respond when she is disrespectful.