Skip to content

this means AVOIDANT TRULY loves ONLY YOU

Channel: Guided Awareness
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfpzyv8T_Mo

The speaker, a therapist, lists 11 behaviors she claims an avoidant (dismissive or fearful) shows only with someone they truly love, since avoidants don't do these things for people they don't care about.

Key points

  • Teaching and guiding: sharing knowledge indirectly (offering help, sharing their own experiences like a weight-loss journey) lets them feel close and be vulnerable without saying so; she says it's more common in male avoidants.
  • Private moments of affection: more expressive in private than public, especially fearful avoidants.
  • Admitting they messed up: after crashing out in an argument you handled genuinely, they own that their reaction was unwarranted; hard for avoidants who prefer to frame outbursts as "logical."
  • Protectiveness: worry about your well-being, encourage healthy habits, swap to the traffic side when walking; sometimes driven by their own discomfort that you're not cared for.
  • Acts of service: errands, fixing things, cooking, car maintenance, unasked; avoidants show love through actions, not words.
  • Consistency and reliability: dependable and keep promises (a flat "okay" rather than a romantic plan), don't flake without notice.
  • Loyalty: especially dismissive/fearful-leaning-dismissive; one relationship is already a lot, so they stick close and rarely look around.
  • Sacrificing their own comfort for the partner because they value the relationship.
  • Doing what you asked (e.g. being more emotional, complimenting you more).
  • Managing their emotional states so triggers and moods don't damage the relationship, which they value more than the trigger.
  • Relaxing with you: feeling safe enough to fall asleep in your arms.