3 Shocking Facts About the Avoidant and Limerence ??</3

Channel: Thais Gibson - Personal Development School
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfxKTWamvHE

Defines limerence, then gives three claimed facts about how dismissive avoidants experience it.

Key points

• What limerence is. An intense state of infatuation that turns into obsession and emotional dependency, first described by psychologist Dorothy Tennov in her 1979 book "Love and Limerence." It differs from ordinary infatuation by obsessive/intrusive thoughts, euphoric highs and crushing lows, idealization (loving the idea of the person, filtering out flaws), fear of rejection, heavy fantasizing, and sometimes physical reactions (racing heart, lost appetite).
• Stages of limerence: infatuation (initial fixation, idealization, over-analysis), emotional addiction (self-worth depends on the person's response; self-abandoning one's own life), and deterioration (disillusionment, rejection, or moving on).
• Fact 1: Dismissive avoidants do fall into limerence -- not as much as fearful avoidants or anxious types, but not far off.
• Fact 2: They often fall into limerence with emotionally unavailable people -- someone far away, a celebrity, or someone already partnered -- because the fantasy lets them bond without confronting their fears of being vulnerable, seen, and known.
• Fact 3: When not fixating on the unavailable, avoidants fall into limerence with people who seem to meet specific unmet needs: empathy (they struggle to feel their own emotions), feeling acknowledged/appreciated, being seen as capable, and being accepted (fears and flaws included).
• Frames limerence as feedback about one's own deeply unmet needs -- projecting onto another person what one struggles to give oneself.