you THINK AVOIDANTS like THIS, but they actually HATE IT

Channel: Guided Awareness
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqVfMRvki7M

The speaker, a therapist, lists behaviors anxious partners think avoidants enjoy but actually dislike, drawn from what avoidant clients report in session.

Key points

• Chasing: people assume making a partner chase them ignites love, but avoidants find it tiring, childish, and game-like; they prefer a relaxed relationship built on trust. Continued chasing breeds resentment and ends things faster. Note: someone can chase you with no romantic love at all.
• Baby talk: mainly cited by male avoidants; a partner's baby-like voice reads as fake and emotionally immature, making the avoidant unable to take them seriously or want to commit.
• Excessive praise: more common from anxious-preoccupied males; constant praise meant to signal a safe, non-judgmental space can feel inauthentic. Suggests dialing it back so love translates more credibly.
• Using detachment to regain affection: avoidants do not actually like detachment-for-attention; it causes resentment, reads as emotional immaturity, and makes the relationship feel never relaxed. Flagged as more serious and relationship-breaking.
• Mentioning others hitting on you: telling stories about being hit on does not make avoidants love you more; it reads as attention-seeking, mind-games, or disloyalty fears, and tends to make them pull away.
• Trying to save or fix your partner: framed as the one trauma-linked item; pushing a tired partner to "unload emotions" after they have said no is taken as a boundary violation. Offer help, but accept a no.

Speaker frames these as innocent mistakes from wanting love, repeatedly says "no one will break up with you" over them, and stresses these are her clinical observations ("I could be wrong"), not the listener's fault.