friendship with an avoidant ex probably isn't the safest place for you, it's more about keeping you¶

When an avoidant ex offers friendship, it is about maintaining emotional safety and keeping you in orbit -- not about actually being friends.

Key points¶

Friendship gives the avoidant access without intimacy pressure, a way to ease their guilt, and a way to monitor whether you are moving on, all without committing.
This is not usually conscious manipulation; it is self-protection from the vulnerability that a romantic relationship requires.
The cost to you: you still feel the loss, still hope for more, while they keep their emotional walls up -- surviving on crumbs while they get the best of both worlds.
Saying no to friendship and going no contact starts your healing and, indirectly, theirs.