How to Make Them Call and Text You Every Day¶

Do not just mirror a date's low effort; model the communication you want, then mirror only if they will not meet you.

Key points¶

Scenario: dates go great but there is little contact in between (3 dates). We crave a closure early dating cannot offer.
Reciprocity: acting first shapes the dynamic - "if you don't like the culture, be brave enough to create your own" (Mitch Albom).
The two explanations for his low contact (no real intention, or just busy this early) are unknowable; chasing the "why" is a pointless exercise.
Mirroring (invest only as much as they do) is reactive; if both people mirror, no one moves. Modeling is proactive: send the warm, low-agenda message you would want to receive (or call) to show what normal looks like.
Once you have modeled and they consistently do not meet you, mirroring becomes self-respecting; pure mirroring from the start is defensiveness, or "protest behavior" (book Attached).
Spectrum from pride to proactivity: too much pride means you never reach out; too much proactivity means you always chase. In the first three dates, reach out once or twice, and stop if a no-effort pattern emerges.
Good vs bad reach-out: "thinking of you, how's your day" (vulnerable) vs sending "???" 20 minutes later (needy).
Base confidence on your intentions and standards, not on whether they like you; a call is a qualifier - someone who cannot manage basic communication is a worse potential partner.
Being your best self and getting rejected means you saw how great you can be; mirroring their bad behavior teaches you nothing.