4 hits, and it's real¶

Four reasons avoidants keep coming back after a breakup -- none of them signal that they are actually ready to commit.

Key points¶

You are their safe place until it gets too real; they run when closeness stirs old wounds, return when distance makes them miss you.
They crave your warmth and attention, but that need also terrifies them because it exposes how much they depend on you.
They mistake loneliness for readiness; they believe they've changed, but the same fears resurface the moment you get close again.
They don't want to see you move on -- so they orbit: close enough to feel your presence, far enough to avoid facing their own fears.