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This is why it's important to let them start to process & maybe begin to miss you

Channel: Mack Herman
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkBOzpnPU-Y

When you stop reaching out to an avoidant, your silence shifts their attention faster than any text ever could -- because it breaks the pattern they relied on.

Key points

  • Avoidants are used to getting reactions (reassurance texts, emotional check-ins); when those stop, pattern recognition kicks in and they pay attention.
  • They lose their ability to gauge where you stand -- they don't know if you're hurt, angry, or moving on -- and that uncertainty creates more curiosity than explanations ever did.
  • Many avoidants mistake your reactions for your feelings; when reactions disappear, they can no longer interpret the silence and the reality of losing you finally sinks in.
  • Avoidants often don't feel the weight of your presence until they experience your absence.