It looks sudden to you, but in reality, they are just letting you know

Channel: Mack Herman
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xb1oEwb2DpE

Avoidants detach emotionally long before they communicate it, so when they finally announce a breakup it feels sudden to you but has already been decided by them.

Key points

• Six signs of detachment: stops bringing things up, emotionally flattens out, prioritizes distance, rewrites the relationship to build a case for leaving, becomes harder to reach emotionally, and communicates the breakup only after they have already let go internally.
• By the time they tell you it's over, they have processed the loss -- you are still ready to try, which is why this hurts so much.
• The "sudden" breakup is really just them letting you know, not starting a conversation.