Do avoidants actually feel embarrassed after ghosting or pulling away? Yes, this is how shame and

Channel: Mack Herman
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmWtc-cTgdY

Avoidants do feel embarrassed about ghosting and discarding, but because vulnerability is what they avoid, that embarrassment surfaces on a significant delay rather than in real time.

Key points

• Three ways delayed embarrassment shows up: avoiding accountability by acting as if nothing happened when they return; minimizing (convincing themselves you didn't really care, so it wasn't that bad); and a delayed guilt that often prompts them to circle back and test the waters.
• In the moment, self-protection overrides shame -- they know ghosting looks cowardly, but the drive to protect themselves wins.
• Facing embarrassment requires vulnerability, which is precisely what avoidants run from, hence the delay.